Breaking the Cycle: Why You Repeat Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns

Have you ever found yourself in yet another dysfunctional relationship, wondering how you ended up in the same situation again? You're not alone. This phenomenon is surprisingly common and has deep psychological roots. Let's explore why this happens and how you can finally break free from these harmful patterns.

What Is Repetition Compulsion?

In psychology, we call this pattern "repetition compulsion." It's essentially doing the same things repeatedly while hoping for different results (which some would call the definition of "insanity"). The key difference is that repetition compulsion happens subconsciously—we don't deliberately choose to repeat these patterns, but something within us compels us to do so.

The driving force behind this behavior is often unhealed pain from our past. These wounds stay with us, influencing our choices in ways we don't even recognize.

The Personal Connection to Our Patterns

I can personally attest to falling into these cycles. Looking back at my relationships, I notice a consistent pattern: I was always trying to "fix" partners who carried heavy emotional burdens and unhealed trauma.

This wasn't random. It was my subconscious attempt to heal my younger self by "fixing" my father, who carried similar burdens throughout my childhood. By understanding this connection, I began to see why I kept choosing partners who needed "saving."

Why We Repeat Harmful Relationships

The specific pattern varies for everyone:

• You might repeatedly date alcoholics

• Perhaps you're drawn to verbally abusive partners

• Maybe you consistently find yourself as "the other woman" rather than the priority

Whatever your pattern, the root cause is typically the same: unhealed wounds from your past that continue to drive your current behavior.

How to Break the Cycle and Heal

Breaking free requires addressing these unhealed aspects from your past. Here's what works:

1. Go Beyond Talk Therapy

While traditional talk therapy has its place, many clients tell me they've been in therapy for years without resolving these patterns. That's because talking about behaviors only addresses the tip of the iceberg.

2. Take a Somatic Approach

The key insight is that "issues are in your tissues." Trauma and emotional wounds are literally stored in your body. This means healing requires physiological, somatic work that engages your subconscious and works with the science of emotions.

3. Have Compassion for Yourself

When clients beat themselves up for falling back into old patterns, I remind them to slow down and practice self-compassion. This repetition is part of human wiring—understanding this helps reduce shame and creates space for real healing.

4. Find the Right Support

If traditional therapy isn't helping, seek practitioners who understand how to work with the body and subconscious to release deeply held patterns. The right support makes all the difference.

The Transformation That's Possible

The results of this deeper healing work can be remarkable. Many clients discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. They notice changes in their posture, body language, and communication patterns. They find themselves attracted to—and attracting—completely different types of partners.

As one client put it: "I don't even recognize myself anymore, yet I finally feel like the person I've always wanted to be."

Your Journey to Healthier Relationships

Breaking the cycle of dysfunctional relationships isn't about trying harder or making better conscious choices. It's about healing the deeper wounds that are driving your behavior in the first place.

Have you experienced similar patterns in your relationships? What has helped you break free? Share your experiences in the comments—I'd love to hear what roadblocks you've faced and what strategies have worked for you in creating healthier relationships.

This post is based on psychological principles and personal experience. If you're currently in an abusive relationship, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area.

Watch "Break the Cycle of TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS! (A Therapist's Perspective)": https://youtu.be/r2ExV82eSkE?si=KoA6laNCHUtWQzmg

The Gallbladder-Indecision Connection: 3 Powerful Tools for Clarity and Confidence

Do you find yourself constantly vacillating between options, unable to make decisions with confidence and clarity? This common struggle might have a surprising source: your gallbladder.

As a licensed clinical counselor with over 20 years in the holistic wellness field, I've observed a fascinating connection between gallbladder health and decision-making abilities. In this article, I'll share three effective tools to support your gallbladder, enhance your emotional well-being, and help you make decisions with greater confidence.

Understanding the Gallbladder-Emotion Connection

Before diving into solutions, it's important to understand the relationship between your gallbladder and certain emotions. In traditional Chinese medicine, the gallbladder is closely linked to:

• Frustration

• Resentment

• Anger (including the emotion called "galled," which originates from the gallbladder)

• Bitterness

• Indecisiveness

When these emotions remain unresolved, they can create energetic blockages that manifest as physical symptoms and decision-making difficulties.

Physical Signs of Gallbladder Imbalance

An unhappy gallbladder often signals its distress through various physical symptoms:

• Jaw pain

• Neck tension

• Tension headaches

• Nausea

• Gallbladder issues

• Suppressed anger or resentment

If you're experiencing these symptoms alongside decision-making challenges, the following tools may provide significant relief.

Tool #1: Activate Gallbladder 34 - "The Decision Maker Point"

In Chinese medicine, there's a powerful acupressure point called Gallbladder 34, also known as "the decision maker point." Regular stimulation of this point can help release stagnant energy and improve your decision-making capacity.

How to locate and stimulate GB-34:

1. Find the top of the outside of your knee

2. Move down about an inch

3. Press firmly into this point (be gentle if tender)

4. Massage for 30-60 seconds while taking slow, deep breaths

5. Repeat on the opposite side

This simple practice helps release stagnant energy running through the gallbladder meridian, freeing up your energy flow and supporting clearer thinking.

Tool #2: Incorporate Gallbladder-Supporting Foods

Your diet plays a crucial role in supporting gallbladder function. Include these gallbladder-friendly foods regularly:

Bitter greens and leafy vegetables:

• Dandelion greens

• Arugula

• Kale

• Swiss chard

• Mustard greens

Cruciferous vegetables:

• Cauliflower

• Broccoli

• Brussels sprouts

• Cabbage

Healthy fats (in moderation):

• Avocado

• Walnuts

• Wild salmon

• Extra virgin olive oil

• Coconut oil

Fruits high in pectin and citrus:

• Green apples (especially beneficial as they contain pectin that supports gallbladder function)

• Lemons

• Limes

• Oranges

Simple daily habit: Drink warm water with lemon to support gallbladder health.

Tool #3: Release Unresolved Emotions

Perhaps the most powerful approach for long-term gallbladder health and improved decision-making is addressing the root emotional causes. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which can sometimes leave emotions recycling in the body, physiological emotional release techniques help "get the issues out of the tissues."

When emotions remain stuck in the body, they continue to be retriggered, keeping you in a cycle of indecision and frustration. True emotional healing requires releasing these emotions at the physiological level.

The Pulse Points Stress Tool is an effective technique for both adults and children that helps release emotions physically rather than just processing them mentally. This approach acknowledges that emotions are physiological experiences that need physical release. Download this tool here: https://stan.store/healthyholistics

Benefits of Supporting Your Gallbladder

When you release stagnant energy from your gallbladder meridian and address unresolved emotions, you can experience:

• Enhanced decision-making clarity

• Increased confidence in your choices

• Freedom from the cycle of indecision

• Reduced stress and tension

• Improved digestive function

• Clear-mindedness

• Relief from physical symptoms

Imagine waking up feeling decisive, confident, and tension-free instead of stuck and uncertain.

Taking Your Healing Journey Further

If you're interested in learning more about the mind-body connection in Chinese medicine and how specific emotions correlate with different organs, glands, and physical symptoms, there are additional resources available to deepen your understanding.

The connection between your emotional and physical health is powerful. By supporting your gallbladder through these three tools—acupressure, dietary changes, and emotional release—you can transform your decision-making abilities and experience greater confidence and clarity in all areas of your life.

Remember, you don't have to stay stuck in cycles of indecision and stress. With the right approach, you can free your gallbladder energy and reclaim your decisive power.

Watch "Can't Make Decisions? Fix Your Gallbladder | 3 Natural Solutions": https://youtu.be/pZgsIQt9SzI?si=iTjlu_NMHHEXd6hV

Have you noticed a connection between your emotions and physical symptoms? Share your experiences in the comments below!

The Mind-Body Connection: Healing Unresolved Emotions for Physical Wellness

In Chinese Medicine, there's a profound understanding that has guided healing practices for thousands of years: the issues are in the tissues. This ancient wisdom reveals that our unresolved emotions don't simply disappear - they become stored in our physical body, creating blockages and disruptions that can manifest as various health challenges. The connection between emotional healing and physical wellness is not merely complementary—it's essential. When we address and resolve our emotions at the deepest level, we open the pathway to profound physical healing that might otherwise be impossible.

As a holistic therapist and licensed clinical counselor with over 20 years of experience, I've witnessed thousands of people experience remarkable physical healing when they address the emotional root causes of their symptoms. Today, I'm sharing insights into this powerful mind-body connection and how healing unresolved emotions can provide profound physical freedom. Throughout my practice, I've observed that physical healing often remains incomplete or temporary until the underlying emotional components are addressed—making emotional healing not just beneficial but often necessary for lasting physical wellness.

Understanding the Energy System of Chinese Medicine

In Chinese Medicine, our body contains meridians - energetic channels that carry our vital life force energy. Think of these meridians as rivers flowing through your body. When these rivers flow freely, we experience health, vitality, and well-being.

However, when unresolved emotions become stuck in our system, they create blockages in these energy channels. Instead of a powerful, rushing river of energy, we end up with a sluggish, polluted stream. Over time, these energetic blockages manifest as physical symptoms, which can range from mild discomfort to serious health conditions.

Each organ system in the body has two meridian channels (one on the left and one on the right) that regenerate during specific two-hour windows within a 24-hour cycle. When these channels become congested with emotional debris, the corresponding organs and systems begin to suffer.

The Emotional-Physical Connection: Specific Patterns

The Complete 24-Hour Meridian Cycle

Chinese Medicine recognizes 12 primary meridians that regenerate in a specific sequence throughout a 24-hour period. Understanding this cycle can help you identify patterns in your symptoms and address the underlying emotional causes.

Lung Meridian

Regeneration time: 3:00 AM - 5:00 AM

Associated emotions: Grief, sadness, yearning for things to be different

Physical manifestations: Respiratory issues, difficulty breathing, waking up between 3-5 AM without apparent reason

Large Intestine Meridian

Regeneration time: 5:00 AM - 7:00 AM

Associated emotions: Grief, sadness, loss

Physical manifestations: Constipation, diarrhea, IBS, inflammatory bowel issues, hamstring injuries, tensor fascia latae muscle issues

Stomach Meridian

Regeneration time: 7:00 AM - 9:00 AM

Associated emotions: Worry, feeling helpless, hopeless, worthless, low self-esteem

Physical manifestations: Ulcers, acid reflux, bloating, gas, shoulder and neck pain

Spleen Meridian

Regeneration time: 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM

Associated emotions: Anxiety, disgust, helplessness, hopelessness, nervousness, lack of control, powerlessness, low self-esteem, obsessive thoughts, excessive concern, feelings of worthlessness

Physical manifestations: Recurring infections, anemia, discomfort in left shoulder or middle back, dizziness, abdominal pain

Heart Meridian

Regeneration time: 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM

Associated emotions: Abandonment, feeling deserted, fragility, insecurity, rejection, feeling unloved, giving more than receiving

Physical manifestations: Heart palpitations, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, shoulder pain (specifically in the subscapularis muscle)

Small Intestine Meridian

Regeneration time: 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM

Associated emotions: Insecurity about relationships, difficulty with discernment, vulnerability, feeling unheard

Physical manifestations: Digestive issues, nutrient absorption problems, jaw tension, shoulder blade pain

Bladder Meridian

Regeneration time: 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Associated emotions: Fear, timidity, feeling overwhelmed, lack of courage

Physical manifestations: Urinary tract infections, lower back pain, knee issues, frequent urination

Kidney Meridian

Regeneration time: 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM

Associated emotions: Fear, phobias, anxiety about the future, existential dread

Physical manifestations: Chronic fatigue, bone issues, hearing problems, premature aging, sexual dysfunction

Pericardium Meridian (Heart Protector)

Regeneration time: 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Associated emotions: Difficulty with intimacy, emotional protection, guardedness, disappointment in relationships

Physical manifestations: Chest pain, emotional boundaries issues, circulation problems

Triple Warmer Meridian (Triple Heater)

Regeneration time: 9:00 PM - 11:00 PM

Associated emotions: Overwhelm, difficulty adapting to change, challenges with temperature regulation (emotional or physical)

Physical manifestations: Immune system imbalances, metabolism issues, temperature regulation problems

Gallbladder Meridian

Regeneration time: 11:00 PM - 1:00 AM

Associated emotions: Indecision, resentment, frustration, difficulty making choices

Physical manifestations: Gallstones, shoulder tension, headaches on the sides of the head, eye problems

Liver Meridian

Regeneration time: 1:00 AM - 3:00 AM

Associated emotions: Anger, irritability, resentment, depression, feeling stuck

Physical manifestations: Liver dysfunction, eye problems, migraines, menstrual issues, muscle tension, waking up between 1-3 AM

When these meridians become congested with unresolved emotions, they can create patterns of physical symptoms that often confound conventional medical approaches. By addressing the emotional root causes, we can restore proper energy flow and allow the body to heal itself naturally.

Why Traditional Approaches May Not Work

Many of my clients have tried traditional talk therapy for years without experiencing significant relief. Why? Because emotions aren't just psychological phenomena - they are physiological. Emotions are literally tiny information substances, molecules in your body.

When we only talk about emotions without addressing their physiological component, we often re-trigger the emotion rather than resolving it. The key to true healing is addressing emotions at both the subconscious and physiological levels.

Think of your subconscious mind as the driver's seat of your car, with your conscious mind in the passenger seat. Your conscious mind might want to go right, but if your subconscious is programmed to go left, that's the direction you'll take. This explains why willpower alone isn't enough to create lasting change.

How Emotional Healing Creates Physical Change

Emotional healing is not just about feeling better mentally—it's often the missing key that unlocks physical healing. I've consistently observed that when conventional medical approaches fall short, addressing the emotional component can create breakthroughs that seemed impossible. In many cases, physical symptoms are the body's way of communicating that emotional healing is needed.

When we resolve emotions at the physiological level, several remarkable things happen:

1. Energy flows freely again: The blockages in your meridian channels dissolve, allowing your vital life force to circulate properly throughout your body

2. Your nervous system resets: Instead of being stuck in fight-or-flight mode, your body can return to its natural state of rest-and-digest

3. Physical symptoms begin to reverse: As the emotional root causes are addressed, the body no longer needs to manifest physical symptoms as signals

4. You experience a sense of spaciousness: Both mentally and physically, there's a feeling of freedom and lightness

   
   

I've witnessed countless transformations in my practice - clients with chronic back pain who became pain-free after resolving emotional trauma, individuals with digestive issues who regained normal function after addressing underlying feelings of worthlessness, and people with heart palpitations who found relief after healing feelings of abandonment. What's particularly remarkable is how often these physical healings occur after conventional medical treatments have failed to provide lasting relief. The missing element was emotional healing—not as a complementary approach, but as the essential foundation for physical wellness.

Beginning Your Healing Journey

The path to healing begins with recognizing that your physical symptoms may have emotional components. Here are steps you can take:

1. Identify your emotions: Notice which emotions tend to arise frequently in your life or which emotions you find most difficult to process

2. Connect with your body: Pay attention to where you feel these emotions physically in your body

3. Learn to process emotions physiologically: Rather than just talking about emotions, learn techniques that help release them from your body—this physiological processing is often the missing link in physical healing

4. Address subconscious patterns: Work with techniques that reach the subconscious mind, where most emotional patterns are stored

5. Use proven tools: Download the Pulse Points Stress Tool to begin addressing emotions at the physiological level

6. Get support: While self-help tools can be valuable, working with a trained practitioner can accelerate your healing journey. You can book a session with me here to experience personalized guidance on your healing path.

   
   

The Power of Presence in Healing

In our fast-paced world, it's easy to move through life without being fully present. Yet presence is essential for emotional and physical healing. Activities that help you stay present - whether it's nature photography, baking, art, or playing an instrument - can be powerful tools for slowing down and allowing healing to occur.

When you engage in creative activities, you enter a flow state where you're fully immersed in the present moment. This state activates all your senses, grounds you in your body, reduces stress, and provides a healthy outlet for emotional expression.

Consider setting aside time each day for activities that help you stay present. Even 30-45 minutes can provide your nervous system with the rest it needs to begin healing.

Conclusion: A Holistic Path Forward

True healing requires a holistic approach that addresses the mind, body, and spirit. By understanding the connection between your unresolved emotions and physical symptoms, you gain powerful insights into your healing journey.

Remember that healing is possible at any age and stage of life. I've helped clients who have carried emotional wounds for decades find freedom and relief. The body has an incredible capacity to heal when given the right support.

If you're experiencing physical symptoms that haven't responded to traditional treatments, consider exploring the emotional components that might be contributing to your condition. By addressing the issues in your tissues, you can experience freedom in both your mind and body.

For more support on your healing journey, download my free Pulse Points Stress Tool, which guides you through the process of identifying and resolving unresolved emotions physiologically. If you're ready for personalized guidance, you can book a session with me here to address your specific emotional and physical concerns.

About the Author: Laurie is a holistic therapist and licensed clinical counselor with over 20 years of experience helping people heal through mind-body approaches. She is the developer of the Feel Better Fast Technique™ - a holistic, mind-body healing method designed to provide fast, effective, and lasting emotional relief by addressing the subconscious root causes of emotional pain. This technique helps individuals experience profound emotional freedom while often leading to physical symptom relief. The technique follows a systematic process to identify and clear emotional stressors, helping clients feel lighter, calmer, and more at peace. It integrates neuroscience, somatic healing, and subconscious reprogramming to achieve rapid and lasting emotional shifts. Laurie's work combines these innovative approaches with insights from Chinese Medicine and other holistic modalities to address the root causes of physical and emotional challenges.