Our "Normal" Society Is Actually Sick & Dysfunctional

Is economic output more important than your well-being?? Much of American culture & societal norms seem to point in that direction. Your thoughts?

For example, in the United States, the standard for maternity leave is shockingly short compared to other developed nations, with many new mothers returning to work just WEEKS after giving birth. This practice not only neglects the physical recovery of the mother but also disrupts the critical bonding period between mother and child, which is essential for healthy emotional and psychological development. This can have detrimental impacts both short-term AND long-term not just on the mother and child, but the ripple effect costs society at large in the long run. The societal expectation that women should quickly return to productivity without sufficient support reflects this dysfunctional (in my humble opinion) “normal” mentality (insert sarcasm).

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert on trauma and mental health, argues that much of what we consider "normal" in society is, in fact, DEEPLY PATHOLOGICAL. He highlights how trauma is not just a result of extreme events but is also embedded in the very fabric of our daily lives. For example, the pressures to conform to societal norms, suppress emotions, and maintain an appearance of success can lead to disconnection from our authentic selves, resulting in CHRONIC STRESS, ANXIETY, AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. Maté emphasizes that the widespread prevalence of addiction, depression, and anxiety is not a sign of individual failure but rather a reflection of A SOCIETY THAT FAILS TO MEET FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN NEEDS of connection, meaning, and belonging.

In this context, being "well-adjusted" often means adapting to unhealthy environments, relationships, and expectations. It might involve numbing oneself to the injustices and inequalities that persist in our society, or ignoring the toll that constant stress and overwork take on our bodies and minds. TRUE HEALTH, as Maté and others suggest, involves not just the absence of disease but the presence of a fulfilling, balanced life that honors our emotional, psychological, and physical needs. Therefore, challenging societal norms and advocating for systemic change, such as more supportive maternity leave policies or greater recognition of trauma's impact on health, becomes crucial in fostering a society where true well-being is the standard.

Let’s now talk about how much this “normal society” is costing us, shall we? In a published study titled “The productivity argument for investing in young children” (Heckman, J. J., & Masterov, D. V., Review of Agricultural Economics, 2007), the authors argue that early attachment and cognitive development have a significant impact on future societal outcomes, such as educational attainment, workforce productivity, and crime rates. They suggest that early interventions, including policies that allow for proper maternal bonding time, reduce the likelihood of future social dysfunction, such as higher crime rates and increased social welfare dependency. This article states, “We argue that, on productivity grounds, it makes sense to invest in young children from disadvantaged environments. Substantial evidence shows that these children are more likely to commit crime, have out-of-wedlock births, and drop out of school. Early interventions that partially remediate the effects of adverse environments can reverse some of the harm of disadvantage and have a high economic return. They benefit not only the children themselves, but also their children, as well as society at large.”

In another study published in Child Development titled "Attachment in the early life course: Meta-analytic evidence for its role in socioemotional development." (Groh, A. M., Fearon, R. M. P., van IJzendoorn, M. H., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J., & Roisman, G. I., 2017) the authors examine the long-term effects of early attachment on socioemotional development and behavioral outcomes. Their analysis includes over 7,000 participants and shows that secure attachment in early childhood is strongly associated with positive socioemotional outcomes, including lower levels of externalizing behaviors such as aggression and delinquency in later childhood and adolescence. The study also highlights that insecure attachment, which can result from disrupted maternal bonding or insufficient maternal leave, is associated with higher rates of externalizing problems and difficulties in peer relationships. These behaviors are significant predictors of later involvement in antisocial activities and potential criminal behavior.

Personally, I’m sickened by our society….work, work, work…rush, rush, rush…distract, distract, distract from what REALLY MATTERS! Relationships matter. Your health matters. Slowing down matters. Actually HEARING YOUR OWN INNER VOICE matters. Leave it to the media and the endless scroll to drown out your inner voice…that innate inner knowingness that KNOWS the truth. “The truth shall set you free”. Listen for it. Sit in silence for just 10 minutes a day and see what happens. I dare you. It’s sad to say that most of us get super squirrely while sitting in silence for more than a couple minutes. We’ve lost our way. Recalibrate. Find it again. When you start to hear the whispers of truth within you again, your heart, your mind, and your gut align. When that happens, look out! You’re back in the driver’s seat again…being navigated by truth rather than somebody else's agenda. YOU HAVE MORE POWER THAN YOU THINK!

(Side note: the original statement is paraphrased from this quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti who said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”)

Being “Realistic” Includes Doing What Your Heart Desires!

How many times I’ve heard, “Laurie, you can’t do ALL of that.” In 2009, I received a 6-month Rotary scholarship to study Spanish in Panama; I also got accepted into a PhD program in Health Education. I was told I needed to “pick one” because the dates overlapped, and I wouldn’t be able to do them both. But I wanted them both. So I CHOSE THEM BOTH. Instead of spending 6 months in Panama, I was granted permission to spend 3 months there instead so that I could begin my PhD program in the Fall. So yes….I was able to do them both….in a slightly different way….but I did them both. (And then I became a PhD dropout later on because….well….that’s an entirely different story that led me to an even deeper heart’s desire….but you get the point.)

In 2005, I had an invitation to travel back to Africa to work with children in Zambia. I had visited Kenya in 2000 and worked with orphaned children there, and I REALLY wanted to return to Africa to work with them again….it was MY HEART’S DESIRE. But finances stopped me from going. I was working 2 jobs at the time while putting myself through grad school making barely enough to pay my monthly bills. My heart felt so let down.

In 2006, I received a second invitation to travel to Zambia to work with orphaned children. I was in the same financial situation. But I DECIDED I was going to go….some way….some how. I identified the barrier (finances) and thought of solutions. I did something that my co-workers deemed “pretty bold”….and ”I can’t believe you had the audacity to ask that!”….I wrote a letter to my landlord and asked if he’d waive my rent for the month that I’d be volunteering in Zambia. I thought, “The worst he can do is say ‘no’”. People around me thought that was “too much to ask”. Turns out my landlord was a philanthropist and was eager to support me in my heart’s desire to work with children in Zambia. He effortlessly waived my rent that month with glee, and I fundraised all of the remaining funds required to cover my travel expenses.

In 2007, I returned to Zambia again to volunteer…..because why?…..because it was my heart’s desire. And my fundraising story for that trip is incredible!….I’ll save it for another time.

Fast forward another decade….I wanted to start my own business. Nobody in my family had ever done that before. I was “clueless” on where to begin. But I had a HUGE heart’s desire to help people heal emotions holistically, and I wanted the freedom to run my practice in a way that aligned with MY core values, not someone else’s. I found a beautiful office in Benicia, California and signed the lease agreement. I went to the county to register my business name, and then was told I need to do “this” and “that” and “register here” and “do this next”. I didn’t have it all figured out from the start….BUT I knew in my heart I was to start my business. Things unfolded, and here I am a decade later; I am STILL figuring things out in my business, but I love that about being an entrepreneur….it’s like a spiritual journey of deeper and deeper discovery.

There are going to be plenty of nay-sayers telling you to “be realistic”. Be careful with whom you share your heart’s desires. My personal opinion?? I believe your heart’s desires are there FOR A REASON….WITH PURPOSE. They are the magnetic forces that are pulling you to step into the unknown....into your purpose where your deepest heart’s desires reside. What I’ve found is that as scary as that may be, there is ALWAYS something or someone there to support you, your dream, your vision, your heart’s desires.

Overcoming Burnout in High-Stress Careers: Unlocking the Power of Brainspotting

In today's fast-paced world, high-stress professionals often find themselves on a relentless treadmill, juggling demanding careers and personal lives. The constant pressure can take a toll on their mental and emotional well-being, including quality of sleep, leading to stress, burnout, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Fortunately, there's a powerful holistic approach that can help: Brainspotting.

What is Brainspotting?

Brainspotting is a therapeutic technique that delves deep into the mind-body connection to facilitate emotional healing and relief from stress. Developed by Dr. David Grand, it's based on the understanding that our physical and emotional experiences are closely intertwined, and traumatic events can get stored in our bodies, leading to emotional distress.

How Does Brainspotting Work?

At its core, Brainspotting involves a therapist guiding the client's attention to specific eye positions (brainspots) that correspond to the emotional or physical distress they're experiencing. These brainspots are associated with unresolved issues or traumas.

By focusing on these brainspots and allowing the body to process its stored emotions, clients can release pent-up stress and find profound and lasting emotional relief. Brainspotting provides a safe and supportive space for high-stress professionals to explore their feelings, discover insights, and foster emotional healing. Virtual sessions are just as effective as in-office sessions, so one can experience the great benefits without the hassle of driving to and from a practitioner's office.

The Benefits of Brainspotting for High-Stress Professionals:

1. Stress Reduction:

High-stress professionals often carry the weight of constant deadlines, long work hours, and high expectations. This unrelenting pressure can lead to chronic stress, impacting their physical and mental health. Brainspotting offers a unique approach to stress reduction by helping individuals identify and process the root causes of their stress.

By working with a Brainspotting therapist, high-stress professionals can explore their stress triggers and emotional responses in a safe and supportive environment. This process enables them to release stored tension, address unresolved issues, and develop healthier coping strategies. As a result, they experience significant reductions in their stress levels, leading to improved overall well-being.

2. Burnout Prevention:

Burnout is a common concern for high-stress professionals. The relentless demands of their careers can leave them emotionally drained and fatigued. Brainspotting can be a valuable tool for burnout prevention. It allows individuals to recognize early signs of burnout and take proactive steps to address them.

Through Brainspotting sessions, high-stress professionals can gain insight into their emotional states and learn to manage stressors effectively. By addressing emotional exhaustion and identifying sources of overwhelm, they can build resilience and develop strategies to prevent burnout before it takes hold.

3. Emotional Resilience:

Emotional resilience is a key attribute for high-stress professionals. It empowers them to face challenges with confidence and adaptability. Brainspotting helps individuals strengthen their emotional resilience by addressing past traumas and unresolved emotions that may be hindering their ability to cope with stress.

Through Brainspotting, high-stress professionals can develop healthier emotional responses to stressors, enabling them to bounce back more quickly from setbacks. They gain the tools to navigate high-pressure situations with greater composure, ensuring their emotional well-being remains intact.

4. Improved Focus:

Maintaining focus and mental clarity in a high-stress environment is essential for success. Stress and emotional turmoil can disrupt concentration and hinder productivity. Brainspotting can enhance focus by helping individuals clear emotional blockages that may be clouding their thoughts.

As high-stress professionals engage in Brainspotting sessions, they often experience improved mental clarity and concentration. By addressing emotional burdens and finding emotional relief, they can bring their full cognitive resources to their work, leading to more effective decision-making and problem-solving.

These additional insights highlight how Brainspotting offers a comprehensive approach to stress reduction and emotional well-being for high-stress professionals, addressing their unique challenges and empowering them to lead healthier, more balanced lives.

The Holistic Approach:

What sets Brainspotting apart is its holistic nature. It acknowledges that the mind and body are interconnected, and emotional well-being is essential for overall health. It works on the sub-cortical part of the brain (deeper brain), which very often makes it much more effective than traditional methods such as talk therapy. High-stress professionals who incorporate Brainspotting into their self-care routines can experience a profound shift in their emotional well-being.

Finding a Brainspotting Therapist:

If you're a high-stress professional seeking relief from stress and burnout through Brainspotting, it's crucial to find a qualified therapist experienced in this technique. Look for trained therapists here or book a consultation call with Laurie, a trained professional Brainspotting therapist and healer who provides virtual sessions globally.

In Conclusion:

High-stress professionals don't have to accept stress and burnout as inevitable parts of their lives. Brainspotting offers a holistic approach to emotional well-being, helping individuals manage stress, prevent burnout, and rediscover their inner balance. By tapping into the mind-body connection, Brainspotting empowers high-stress professionals to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives both at work and in their personal endeavors. Consider exploring this transformative therapy to unlock your emotional wellness potential.